I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
