Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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