Pants 0. Shit 1.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
