Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
