your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
