Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
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I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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