I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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