so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This house was built for laser tag.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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