I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
