She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?