Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You dont lie about slip and slides
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
