Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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