Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
