Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
