i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
