He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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