I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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