i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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