Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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