everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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