Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
