found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
