New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well I just put wine in my tea
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize