Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
