I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
