I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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