Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
