all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
