apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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