Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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