She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
