What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
