life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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