16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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