on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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