My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize