I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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