CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
