Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
