p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
