We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I didn't notice because vodka
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
