if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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