So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
