; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You're my little dorito
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
