one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
