Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
