She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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