I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
