Got a toothbrush?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
