I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
