New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.