Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook

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(248): i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook http://tfl.nu/fiya

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(713): View more from Texas

Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.

(713): View more from Texas

I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Texas should really raise its teaching standards.

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(713): Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party. (713): I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over. (832): Texas should really raise its teaching standards. http://tfl.nu/yy08

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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(732): Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD. http://tfl.nu/fbqj

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(913): View more from Kansas

I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?

(913): View more from Kansas

Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.

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(913): I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body. (402): Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days? (913): Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm. http://tfl.nu/rpz1

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(415): View more from California

Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

(415): View more from California

God, I love San Francisco.

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(415): Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling (415): God, I love San Francisco. http://tfl.nu/z7fc

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

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(808): I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils. http://tfl.nu/b8ey

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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(908): Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now http://tfl.nu/hukx

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

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(267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1

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(516): View more from New York

I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.

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(516): I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick. http://tfl.nu/gzhw

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(909): View more from California

I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...

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(909): I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"... http://tfl.nu/z8ro

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.

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(918): i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/yiek

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(631): View more from New York

I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.

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(631): I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship. http://tfl.nu/vmw8

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(805): View more from California

I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.

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(805): I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/lu11

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.

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(920): These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice. http://tfl.nu/xvwn

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(651): View more from Minnesota

We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.

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(651): We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it. http://tfl.nu/ubme

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