I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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