In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize