I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
