My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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