Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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