I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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