Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
