come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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